So I know I am not the token pretty girl, the blond with the big boobs, but I can’t help but wonder am I like Izzy from Grey’s Anatomy. I definitely do not go as overboard with emotional attachments to my patients and I would never have done what she did. Still at the end, when she says she could not be a surgeon, it made me quite afraid. Would that happen to me one day I the middle of my residency? Will I wake up and wish I had not done it or had chosen a different path.

I don’t know how I will figure this out, but I need to know if I am meant to be a surgeon or not. It is by no means an easy route to be a surgeon, there will be long grueling hours in residency. How am I supposed to know?? I enjoyed Urology … a lot, I am intrigued by the pathophysiology, and the renal-collecting ducts system intrigues me to no end. I love doing cytoscopy, I enjoy the OR, and I love the clinic. I think as I get higher on the ladder I will go from enjoying to loving the OR, as a human retractor you can just appreciate the anatomy.

And you know what, although I am sick of defending this choice, I will reiterate for those of you out there who think I will only be working with Prostates all day: Urology covers renal issues including kidney transplants, ureteric problems including stones and UTIs, and the bladder be it tumour, or stones, or inflammation in BOTH sexes. And specific to men it covers prostate and testicular issues, and in women urinary incontinence. Children also have their own special set of problems.

Maybe I am trying to convince myself... Maybe I should just go to bed... I am really too tired to assess this properly